Ry Asks, "Are We Gay?"

Ry, Dylan and I are sitting around leisurely at lunch, having a ‘do-nothing’ day after four hectic days with Rachel and her family, here.  Ry asks, casually, apropos of nothing, “Are we gay?”

I say, “Well, Mama and I are gay.  You and Dylan, you won’t know until you are adult.  When you are almost adult or adult, and find someone you want to be a partner, then you will find out if that person is a man or a woman.”

Dylan interjects, proud of her knowledge, “If a man and a woman are partners, then they are not gay.  If you and—if a woman and a woman are partners, then they are gay.  And [seeming delighted by her command of this arcane detail] if a man and a man are partners, then they are gay too.”  She looks at me for affirmation, and I nod.

Ry says, thoughtfully, “I think that when I am adult I will want a woman for a partner.”  Dylan is silent on this score.

Ry adds, “And when I am adult I will want to be partners with you and Mama!”

I laugh.  “That would be great!”

Dylan says, “And me too, I want to be partners with you too!”

Ry says, “And then we will be a family!”

I say, “But we are already a family, right now.”

Discussion turns to how they will live with us when they are adult.  I say “That’s great.  But the one good thing about having a  partner is that you get to have a new family.  If I’d stayed living with Opa and Oma while I was adult I wouldn’t have you guys”  Not sure if they feel that or not.  “And I love my family I love Mama and Rylie and Dylan.”

Ry leans into me, face upturned, having already moved her chair, normally around the corner of the table from me, over to my more narrow side of the table, so we are sitting on the narrow side of a rectangular table, all three right next to each other, Dylan, then Mommy, then Ry.