Dylan's Class on Gay Moms

Dear friends/family,

I wanted to share a story that Ms Colleen, Dylan's kindergarten teacher, told me on Friday, their last day of school, at the very end of the day when the kids had run off to play in the snow and she had me alone for a minute.

Now I love Ms Colleen, and Dylan does too.  She is kindly, older, short and a bit plump, quiet but heart of love, full of integrity, a wide, pale face with softly red-dyed hair, Irish complexion and heritage.  When I do drop-off or pick-up at the playground every day, she is usually too busy managing kids to talk.  You can tell she knows her profession inside and out and loves her charges.

Colleen says that she'd wanted to tell me a story that had happened earlier that same week, Wednesday or Thursday.  She is always telling her assistant teacher, she says, to let the kids work it out, to give them a chance, let them talk it through.  So one kid, Aidan (the most-likely-to-get-in-trouble tough boy who loves football and war games, sensitive but often overly energetic) tells Piper (a girl), that he wants to marry her.  Colleen says that that's old news, he's said that to her and about her again and again, he's had a crush for a long time.  So Piper says "No, I don't want to marry you, I want to marry a reindeer."

And some kids say, "You can't marry a reindeer, it has to be a person."

And Piper says, "Well okay, I'll marry Camilla," who is one of her best friends (and female).

Then Aidan says, "You can't marry another girl, you have to marry a boy." And then Colleen says that all the kids in the class turned as one and said that that wasn't true, that she could marry a girl, that look:  Dylan had two moms.

Calvin, shaggily blond and blue-eyed, perky as ever, adds, "Yes it's true; I've been to their house on a playdate and I've seen them."

And Nico, who Colleen says has been reading for two years now (rare especially at Waldorf), adds, "And it's been legal in some states for a while."  I doubt Dylan or any of the other kids understood quite what that meant, but it was lovely for me to hear.

Colleen was obviously so proud that they came, as a group, to that conclusion, and that Dylan herself wasn't put on the spot.  It was a good story for me to hear on the last day of school.

XOXO,

Yvonne

Ry on Gods and Goddesses

It was September 12, 2010.  Dylan, Rylie and I are sitting around having a slow lunch after school.  We are chatting chatting it’s toward the end of the meal, and Ry says (something like):  “I want ketchup on my head” (being silly)…then she looks at me and says, “I am asking the gods (hesitation) and goddesses… and (in a slightly higher squeal) Mr Nobody!”  Then laughing… “Mr. Nobody please give me ketchup on my head… Mr. Nobody will give me ketchup on my head!”

I am amused, both by “goddesses” (which is because of me) and by the parallel between gods and goddesses and Mr Nobody, who is a creature they learned about from the kids at school, who say he is always the one who breaks things, or doesn’t put things away, or otherwise does things wrong.

Ry Asks, "Are We Gay?"

Ry, Dylan and I are sitting around leisurely at lunch, having a ‘do-nothing’ day after four hectic days with Rachel and her family, here.  Ry asks, casually, apropos of nothing, “Are we gay?”

I say, “Well, Mama and I are gay.  You and Dylan, you won’t know until you are adult.  When you are almost adult or adult, and find someone you want to be a partner, then you will find out if that person is a man or a woman.”

Dylan interjects, proud of her knowledge, “If a man and a woman are partners, then they are not gay.  If you and—if a woman and a woman are partners, then they are gay.  And [seeming delighted by her command of this arcane detail] if a man and a man are partners, then they are gay too.”  She looks at me for affirmation, and I nod.

Ry says, thoughtfully, “I think that when I am adult I will want a woman for a partner.”  Dylan is silent on this score.

Ry adds, “And when I am adult I will want to be partners with you and Mama!”

I laugh.  “That would be great!”

Dylan says, “And me too, I want to be partners with you too!”

Ry says, “And then we will be a family!”

I say, “But we are already a family, right now.”

Discussion turns to how they will live with us when they are adult.  I say “That’s great.  But the one good thing about having a  partner is that you get to have a new family.  If I’d stayed living with Opa and Oma while I was adult I wouldn’t have you guys”  Not sure if they feel that or not.  “And I love my family I love Mama and Rylie and Dylan.”

Ry leans into me, face upturned, having already moved her chair, normally around the corner of the table from me, over to my more narrow side of the table, so we are sitting on the narrow side of a rectangular table, all three right next to each other, Dylan, then Mommy, then Ry.

Gay Pride, Rainbow Families CampOut, Rainbow Families Wall Art

Ry's Warning

We are all sitting at dinner, eating our sushi that Mama has just brought home, it’s Friday night. 

Ry says, “I have a warning for you guys” and then repeats it:  “I want to warn you guys” very serious.

Then she says, knowingly:  “Watch out because that sushi might be especially good, you know why?  Because I carried it up the stairs and so it was made with love.”

Kid Conversations

Today I came into the dining room, working on snack, Dylan and Rylie were sitting at the table, opposite each other with room for me between them, and Rylie turns to me and says (all adult), “We were talking about big kids, and moms, and trying to figure out if big kids were more crazy or moms."

“Oh yah? And what did you figure out?”

Rylie looks at Dylan for confirmation:  “Moms are more crazy.”

“What does that mean crazy?”

“Moms run around all the time, “ says Rylie. “They" (she makes a motion of moving her hand up and down like walking fast) "are in a hurry, and it makes sense, because moms do everything.”