Homophobia: The Heartland vs. the Coasts. #1. The Wet Blanket

I am trying to see clearly the homophobia of the heartland, specifically Ohio where I live. This is attempt at clarity, at naming, #1. I have a Ph.D. in what is effectively lesbian studies/queer theory—from the History of Consciousness Program at the University of California Santa Cruz—so this should be easy for me, right? But it's not. Here's the first of what I've come up with so far:

#1. The Wet Blanket Effect

I invented this term to signify what it feels like to live in a place where everything gets tamped down, where everything is okay, where homophobia is minimized.

Definition: a type of systemic, cultural, yet intimately experienced formation where oppressed people, for example queers but it probably applies to others as well, cannot see their own lack of freedom or right to be equal, or even what equal looks like. They are happy just to "get along" and be the one—sort of accepted—gay or lesbian couple on the block.

Example: I taught at Miami University of Ohio for a bunch of years, and one year the highly regarded gay studies scholar John D'Emilio came, tasked to speak about his work but also to examine the state of g/l/b/t life at Miami, which was rumored to be in poor shape, had been found in a questionnaire to be in poor shape, and was in fact in poor shape. At the end of his time with us, we had lunch, perhaps 25 or 30 of the most pro-glbt faculty, students, and staff in a room with D'Emilio, and he told us, I've forgotten the exact words but in essence the point was this: "You ask for too little—reduced rates for your partners at the Rec Center. You cannot see what you are missing, what true equality even looks like--you don't even know to ask for it, you are grateful for what little you are given."

This to me is the wet blanket effect— when your whole community is so hell-bent on being exemplary, fine, and free that they don't, we don't, even realize that all of us are under a wet blanket, and can't see the freedom and sunlight shining above us, on the other side of the wet blanket. We can't even imagine it. It's th the biggest loss in a way. Because it is only by knowing our real situation that we can make change.

Quote: "You say there are no words to describe this time. You say it does not exist. But remember. Make an effort to remember. Or failing that, create." —Monique Wittig